What does it mean to you to be authentic?

I love making the joke of always keeping it Riel, staying TRU(e), etc. I would like to hope that I never come off as being fake. I want people to be able to put their trust and faith in me and I want the same of others.

To me if anything a show of being authentic is the testament of all my friends that I have known for years and kept up with via the internet. I've been blessed with the fact that many times I've gone out on a limb and met some amazing people. I am happy that my parents have supported me in my adventures and I have been once again blessed that I have never had any scary encounters of meeting someone who was not what they portray in the virtual sense. I've known my people like Jason and Mike since I was 15 and I can't say that I could just as easily find that kind of resilience as easily now. Even with the distance between us it's one of the strongest bonds and I can't say that I've ever really found that in these recent years..

What is your first memory of me:
What was your first impression of me?:
How long have we been friends:
Tell about one memory we share together:
If we could spend a day together, what would we do:
Name one thing you really don't like about me:
Name one thing you really do like about me:
Have we ever gotten in a fight and about what:
Have we ever hugged:
Have we ever danced with each other:
Have you ever heard me sing:
Do we have any inside jokes:
Have I ever offended you:
What is something embarrassing that I've done:
What do I usually look like when you see me:
What do I say all the time \ what's my catch phrase:
Do you think we will be friends in 5 years:
Has there been anything you wanted to tell me, but didn't:
What advice would you give me, in general:
Wanna make out?:
Suggest a band or CD for me to listen to:
Is there a song that reminds you of me:

AOL is being nice today. So I e-mailed some pix to the paranoid one. I will e-mail those long-waited pix to the fanboy once he gets home from work.. I've made a few LJ Icons for you to choose from so we'll talk about that later, too. I still need to send pix to the bouncy one, maybe when she gets home from church?

I've made a lot of LJ Icons today. I think once March comes round I'll actually start paying for LJ. I want customized mood icons and such.. and more icons. ^_^

And I only have 3 minutes of blank space in my MV to fill up..... haha. damn 6 minute song.. ^^;;;;;;;;;;;

Uh... Sheldon? Would you be terribly upset if I missed your birthday party this year? I promise I'll make it up to you later. neee?? It's just that I'm going to plan on trying to leave for Arkansas the day after Christmas. It's just that I kind of have to be there by the 28th. And with it taking roughly 16 hours to get to get there from here, which means it will probably take more than one day to get there. I promise I'll take any punishment you and Kami want to dish out when I get back.. And visit NoVA.. ^,^''''''''''''''''

I went to NoVA Saturday night. Eddie and I went to Cheryl's Halloween party. We went down Rt seven through Falls Church.. An area I generally if at all possible, I mean I generally haven't had a reason to go in that area other wise.. so why bother? I flinched quite a lot passing by different places near NVCC Alexandria. Places like McDonald's, Popeye's, 5 Guys, and of course Skyline. Pretty soon I won't flinch anymore, it's definetely getting better. Thinking of places I have no reason to go to I haven't gone by my old place, and I don't reallly feel like going there. I haven't seen it since the day I left it in mid July. Back to Cheryl's, I'm so glad that we were able to go. I got to see so many people I hadn't seen in what felt like ages...Cheryl, Abdulmonim, Claire, Abdulhadi, Badre and Abdulsamad. I was a good girl, no beer for me, just sugar, which I don't really think is any better for me though. hahah. Eddie Abdulmonim and I were outside on Cheryl's deck and I was just bouncing around. I'm sure watching from inside that Abdulsamad must of thought I was crazy. Either way I was a happy Sara.

I like long distance driving more and more now. I can totally understand how it could make Maram feel at times. I've just been really happy driving along 66 and 81 singing along with Diana Krall. It just feels like it couldn't get much better with all the colors of fall surrounding the roads.

Fairfax Man Died of Smoke Inhalation


An autopsy has concluded that smoke inhalation killed a young man found in the basement of an Annandale house that caught fire early Sunday (10/29/02), Fairfax County police said.

Victor Delcid, 19, of the 4700 block of Kandel Court, was found dead in the burning house in the 5000 block of Willis Lane, police said.

The cause of the fire is under investigation.

Noooo.... I barely found out about this, because I saw something on June's AIM Profile... It was a letter to Victor, and then I looked it up on washingtonpost.com, and that's what I found. Apparently it was a fire at JD's house. I knew JD as well, I can only imagine what JD and his family must be feeling. I had classes with Victor, he was the sweetest person, just so lovable and always so funny. June said that she went to the funeral and that a lot of people from Annandale (HS) were there and that it was soooo sad. I wish I had known, I would of wanted to be there. I just called Claudia, hoping that she might know something, that maybe she went to the funeral, but she had no idea... and that made me feel even worse, to have to tell her what happened.. God...think that I was having fun and getting drunk while he suffered... I'm so sorry, Victor. I will surely miss you. I hope that you can rest in peace my friend, you deserve it.

Pernell is still here... We went to Verona, but his bus never came... So we're going to Harrisonburg tomorrow morning... -_-;;;;;;;

Dena actually signed on AIM today, and she's still OL.. (she's had an away message up the whole time, but that's better than what she's been doing before.. which was sign on then sign off right away..) She didn't IM me, so I didn't IM her... AIM wise, I'm going to let her start any conversations, because anytime I ever tried before, I never got anywhere... I will eventually call her though..

Speaking of calling, I tried to call Abdul today, and Zizu picked up the phone, I couldn't figure out if Abdul was home or not before I ended up being hung up on... it was confusing, but Zizu is cute (sounding) as ever..

I was able to actually beat Jet Set Radio Future tonight, but I still have so much to unlock, it's not even funny... Thank God Pernell got the Love Shockers Flag chase thing for me.. that was such a bitch..

I downloaded a bunch of clips of Once and Again.. It was a TV that aired on ABC and Lifetime, and got cancelled when it started to get really good.. I think I was first attracted to the show because of Sela Ward, (Hey, I loved Sisters!!!). But once I got into the show I started to like Jesse (Evan Rachel Wood).. and the whole Jesse/Katie relationship was just great...They were so stupid for cancelling it.. :P Mischa Barton (Katie) is such a wonderful actress, and she's done such mature roles that I still find it hard to believe that she's only 16... ^,^;;

I've been dreaming about my friends lately. On Sunday I dreamt that I was running around with Abdul M. and Dena. Just doing different stuff, just hanging out. The next day I dreamt that I was with Eddie and the C-Factor.... That was weird... I think we were at the Baltimore Convention center.. Eddie and I were trying to get Carmen to come do something with us, but she was really depressed and didn't want to do anything... I think we ended up leaving her. But Eddie didn't really want to leave her behind, so we felt bad. That's all really odd if you think about it... Today I dreamt that Dena called me, and we were just talking on the phone, and everything was good. We hung out and just had a good time, nothing more.. I was feeling really, really good about myself and happy. But then I woke up and realized it was just a dream. Back to reality.

OK, let's, as always, start at the beginning... Which would be Sunday. Sunday I drove to Potomac Mills, using Mapquest directions... So I ended up getting lost all around Kami's neck of the woods before I even made it to Potomac Mills... I got to see part of the Pump it Up tournament, but I missed Pernell losing in the first round.. lol. We walked around the mall, I wanted to look for music and movies.. Their Suncoast doesn't have a G/L section..heh. Well no one had Tatu's single or Sobre Todo Mi Madre, as I suspected.. But I totally forgot that there was a GLORIA JEAN'S in Potomac Mills.. Leah and I used to go there all the time when it was still at Springfield mall.. The clerks and Pernell looked at me funny, but I got my large Cocco Loco. ^_____^ After Potomac Mills, we went to Centreville to visit Pernel's friend Mike. We went out to Sweet Water Tavern with Mike and Meghan (Mike's GF). They were really nice, and she had just gotten back from Japan the day before, so she had all sorts pictures and stories.. She goes to A.U. Anyways, after that we went to Leah's, and from there we went to the house that she's house sitting and called it a night..

Monday morning we went to Busch Gardens, Williamsburg. Leah had made sandwiches and we brought drinks.. Leah and Jason had their season passes, while I used my AAA discount for Pernell and myself. For the most part BG was a lot of fun, but I did get sick, and depressed at different times.. I mean I love Leah and Jason, but some times it was just really hard being with them, I always ended up thinking of Dena.. Leah kept trying to cheer me up, I think she wanted me to pick up some chick or something, but at least we could both agree that there wasn't anyone worth picking up there.. We talked about Mary Baldwin a lot, and she really wants me to go, and I'm starting to get interested in going, but I don't know if I have the grades to go... I'm going to try and find out about it tomorrow...I did get to see how bad a DDR USA machine is... We did see one show at BG, The Secrets of Castle O'Sullivan. It was amusing in that really cheesy sort of way, but at least Pernell and I got a laugh out of it starting about half way through, because it just totally went Eternal Darkness on us.. But I would of rather seen Alex, instead of Aaron.. lol (the "hero" of the show) We didn't get back to NoVA til about 1:30am so we crashed with Leah again.

Late Tuesday Morning we went to Springfield Mall so that Pernell could check out the Drum Mania arcade machine, then we headed back to Staunton. On the way back we stopped in Woodstock at the 7-11 for snacks and such, so I got to try the DR. PEPPER SLURPEE... It was pretty good.. I had to stop and get gas at Harrisonburg though.. Then we made it to my house.. Pernell loaded DWI (Dance with Intensity) on to my computer, it's basically a DDR/PiU emulator for the computer... And the cd had like 500 songs on it starting from DDR1-6, club and some other songs.. ( I only say PiU because the cd had some songs, but the layout and all is DDR and such.. you can modify it fully like a Beatmania emu, and so people setup their own steps to songs like the battle music to FF8). It's cool.. I may just look for the PSX to USB converter so I can try it with a pad.. I showed Pernell Eretzvaju, and Shenmue II.. We had dinner with my parents. He love's my mom's cooking. And of course he loves my parents. lol. I showed him Soapdish and Shrek that night..

Wednesday morning at about 8am my parents went to Best Buy in Roanoke, to get their computer upgraded, so I can network it. Pernell and I left for Roanoke at about 11am. We went to Joe's shop, Captain Gamestation.. It's cool cuz he has a dual neo-geo arcade machine that has KOF '97 on one side (which is all I played) and Magical Drop 3 on the other side... I got a NES Power Pad for $10 ^_^, and when Pernell and I went to Funcoland, I got the Aerobics game for 99¢. I bought some earrings at Claires at the mall. Most of the day we just hung out at Joe's store. We went to this putt putt place to play some DDR (3rd/2nd mix machine), there were some really good players there. After that we went to Joe's for a little bit so I could see his stash of games and such. He really has a nice setup in his place. IT'S BETTER THAN YOUR'S JAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P After that we went back to Staunton. I showed Pernell But I'm a Cheerleader, and Boondock Saints.. Muwahahah. ^_^

The Adelpha guy is here now with cable boxes....

I'm just about to head out to Potomac Mills, Pernell is going to be part of the Pump It Up tournament there. So I'm going to meet up with him and we're go'll back to Staunton together... That was the original plan, sort of.... Well Leah called me yesterday, and so it's been modified that we're going to Busch Garden's on Monday.. and from there Pernell and I will go back to Staunton.. It's been a long time since I've been to Busch Gardens... And every time I've ever been there it's because of Leah. ^_^ Only it's not school related for her anymore...

I started playing Shenmue II yesterday on Dreamcast. It kicks ass, it's so much better than the first one... The DC version is Japanese dialog with English subtitles... I know that the XBOX version will be dubbed.. which isn't bad, but it was really cool to hear the original voices. On the Shenmue II you can watch a movie that has most of the cut scenes in order of the first one. It's pretty cool, a mini movie of Shenmue I (the movie is dubbed though). I've maybe played about five hours into the game and I'm on the second disc. ^,^;; Looks like it's short again... hehe.. I'm broke as hell in that game, so I'm pawning off my collections that I got from the first one...

I re-installed Half-Life and Counter Strike today... I suck more now than I did before at that game.. Today was David's birthday.. I hope it went well for you, or at least better than other days. I'm sorry that all I could do was that e-card. I tried to talk to Maram today online, and that was just about as eventful (uneventful) as always.. It was good talking to Sarah tonight, and yes we know what Victoria's Secret is, right? ~,^ I called Abdul M. this evening, and he's just as sick as ever, so we cut our conversation short so he could try to get some sleep. Which is what I should try to do..

Eddie, gimme a call later, k?

Tonight's lucky quote is from Eddie.... "Dr. Pepper: Red Fusion is like Mountain Dew: Code Veronica!!!!!!"

I talked to Abdul M. tonight. It was good to talk to him, I hadn't heard from him in awhile...He helped my sanity a little bit tonight, I just need to buck up and stop being such a damn baby about everything... I'm going out on date with him on Tuesday. ;) Dinner and a movie.. That'll be good, I think we both need it. Plus I can't wait to see him. I'll have to hear some of your songs!!!!!!

Another cool thing is that Pernell is coming this month to stay with me for 5 days.. August 12-16th. I was surprised. I'll have to finish my room before that, so I guess I have a deadline for it now. <;)
I should try and get some sleep now..

"How crazy are you?"

I finally got the "A" ending for Valkyrie Profile.. Only "C" and Seraphic Gate left... Now Jet Set Radio Future, and Halo, are pissing me off.... I'm almost done with them, and they are too hard right now... Not cool.. I decided to try and finish Shenmue today.... until it FROZE and pissed me off even more.... I'm right near the end... The funny thing is before today, I hadn't touched it since November 20th, 2000. !!!!!!!!! My dad keeps trying to get me to go out, but I don't want to do anything... My sister wants me to come over Sunday evening just so I can plug the phone line into her computer.... (essentially that's all I'll have to do... ) God... I swear, and she's having a fit because I didn't go like a week or 2 ago... Eddie I was wondering if I could pick up my VMU, Badge and Move CD on Sunday after I go to Cathy's... From there I'm heading to Jay's and going back to Staunton on Monday... That fool gave *me* an ultimatum to go see him... heh...

Friday, I didn't get to the convention center til about noon.... and 3 hours later I had my badge.. I found out that Wendee Lee was not at Otakon because she broke her leg.. Which really sucked, because she was the only reason outside of friends for me to go the con.. I spent most of the weekend just hanging out.. Helped out with the Magfest table.. http://www.magfest.org Learned of the Para Para phenomium and saw the mini-concert..Was really tired, so I went up to the room and went to sleep in the chair... Eddie G and David had the bed, I had the chair, and Eddie W, and Jeremy slept on the floor..

Saturday I looked for Jay, but never found him... I saw a weltall instead, which really kicked ass BTW.. I shook Tiffiny Grant's hand in the Dealer's Room.. Bought the Xenosaga OST (which has Green Sleeves on it!!!). Saw the Sakura Wars movie.. Went out to eat at Legal Seafood with the Magfest guys.. forgot my stuff... Later Pernell and I went back to get it... Never did get my Magfest shirt.... I'll have to get another one. Went to Joe's room and watched most of Goldmember, until the PS2 decided to stop playing the DVD... Pernell and I went to a party at the Sheraton, and had some mixed drinks.. I had what they dubbed "A Magical School Girl", and a "Padawan". They were good, but it was really packed in there.. full of drunk otaku guys, so Pernell, William and I just hung out in the hall. It was really cool... We all kept complaining about there not being any women there.... Speaking of which I was wearing my "GIRLS CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF ME" T-shirt.. Which worked out well... Cuz it's true, except for the one that really matters to me right now, but moving on...... We went back to the hotel room at the Wyndham to find everyone playing video games... So we just hung out til about 4:30am.... I wished I had more to drink... but I won't get into why yet.. I was supposed to cosplay as Erica from Illbleed, but that didn't happen, because I didn't have time to shave... bah..

Sunday just kind of happened.. and I hung out with people.. then we went home, and I beat RE with Jill... (Finally) This con was good for me, because I saw just about everyone I knew, EXCEPT for Jay, BAKA... And I met a lot of new friends, so it was really cool... I had a lot of fun inspite of my bitchy temper-mental at times. ^____^ I better see some of you at MAGFEST!!!

The Eddies and I will leave for Baltimore after Eddie W finishes packing.... He called Jackie, because she said she was going to follow us.... We were all supposed to meet up at 7.. well, it turns out Jackie has already left and is on her way to Baltimore.... go figure... Sheldon should be coming down with his DE friends.. Only thing that really sucks about this weekend is that Dena has to work...

OMG....... What just happened totally sucked. I'm at Eddie's, alone right. Because Eddie and his dad are at work. Well Eddie left Abby outside.... And well, she just kept whining. So I went out to let her inside, and she bolted.... ran up Glenbrook, and turned left and ran up Barkley. I just kept walking/running after her, and I called Eddie from my cell.... Thank God I had it on me.... Well, he called his neighbor, and she helped me get him back inside the house. Damn that really sucked.... I was so afraid that she'd run out into the street and get hit by a car, I would never have forgiven myself if that happened. DAMN ALERGIES, AND ASTHMA!

Yesterday I came up to Northern Virginia.... The settlement on the house is today at 1pm... I'm staying with Eddie till Friday, and that's when we go to Otakon. I got to see Maram and David yesterday, we went to Denny's. I really want to see the Abduls too (ALL 3.. lol) but I'm not sure that will happen.... Most of all, the one I really want to see is Dena. On Saturday we'll have been together for 4 months. I really wanted her to go to Otakon with us.. Eddie did too, and she wanted to go... but I don't know if it can happen or not.... The last time I was able to talk to her she might be able to go Saturday night... like probably in time for the dance or something... I haven't tried calling her since the last time we talked on the phone (see previous entries...). But I will definitely try calling her on Saturday.. If anything I have to wish her Happy Anniversary. Hah, I guess if you're reading this Dena, you've got fair warning?

Now I can get to what I've really been wanting to type about... ME.. What can I say I'm selfish... But let me get into that... I want to talk about my feelings, emotions and all my actions these past weeks... and probably just about since I got back from Egypt... Please know that this is hard for me to type, and I've spent a lot of time thinking about this. ( What I'm trying to say is... )

There's still so much to say...( ::sigh:: )