This one is gonna be all over the place. The past couple of days have been a real roller coaster.. Finding out that it was this weekend that Cappy is leaving, and me having to work. I didn't think I'd get to see her at all. But at the last minute Kevin was a doll and he let me switch with him so that I could see Cappy off. I seriously owe him one. I was supposed to open today.

Last night I drove to Fairfax and picked up Angelique before heading out to Hard Times where we met up with everyone else to have a few drinks. Lots and lots of pictures were taken on Cappy's camera. :) When it was closing time I dropped off Angelique and headed off to Kate's. This whole night was deja vu. The scramble to pack / getting things to fit and make it out the door.. All of it was just like last time. Very much a feeling of "here we go again."

Amanda, Kate and I went with her to Dulles. I gave Cappy one of my famous hugs before she went thru security, and we all watched her till we couldn't see her anymore before heading home.. but I don't think it's set in for me yet. Even with Kate bawling, like last time. There's nothing we could do though really, only Cappy could have fixed that. I'm not sure what is more heartbreaking. Seeing those two trying not to cry for each others sake, or seeing them fall apart when they break away. Even as emotional as it was I do think it was on a good note. I don't think she got on that plane holding any anger.

I was crying to Cappy on the phone a few nights ago because I didn't think I could get off work. The prospect then of upsetting her and not even having the chance to see her one last time seemed to affect me more in the moment then watching her fade away into the crowd.. possibly gone for good. The last time I didn't cry at the airport but ended up sobbing all the way home. It was the realization that I'm going home to nothing, away from everyone that I love (aside from family) was what finalized it then.

I punched the wall on the way to the car in frustration. Thats what I feel so far, just frustrated with this situation. I just want to hit stuff since I can't seem to physically react otherwise.. but I think some point soon I'm going to fall apart. I just don't know what the trigger is. All I thought about on the way home was that she's gone now.. I even wore a bunch of pink for her. It's her favorite color.

Cappy likes this song as well. Sometimes it's hard to stay mindful.

A highlight from Friday night! Oh I made a funny. :D

Friday I drove up to NoVA after group. I went to Starland first, and I can now officially say I didn't know anyone working. But there is a Starbucks in Bradlick Shopping Center now. That would have been so bad (oh so good) if it was there while I was working at Starland. Dave met up with me and we went to eat at Fuddruckers. They totally repainted otherwise it's the same. After that we surprised Abdulhadi and Badre. We had to rush to Target before it closed because (A) No one wants to go to Kingstowne Wal-Mart, NO ONE and (B) I left my phone chargers at home.

GJ right? srsrly.

We dropped Badre off then went to Starbucks, because Dave and I needed our fix (because caffeine is like crack for white people). I saw what was left of the old Woodrow Wilson Bridge.

We dropped Hadi off then Dave drove us to Solomon's Island in Maryland. Ya it was late at night but we're like that. I took him to Lewisburg, West Virginia one night so fair is fair. (Although I took Georgia there once, but she had no idea where we were going). We listened to Iron Otaku on U-POP. I just want to say that it sucks that there, and NoVA you can see the Moon but no stars. I kept trying with no luck.

Hopefully I will post the rest later, it just seems harder lately.

I have been in NoVA this past weekend so I will catch you all up.. (And I didn't realize that I left AIM saying "Naptime").

Thursday morning I got up early to take Dad to Rockingham Memorial Hospital for what he called "IV Therapy" before heading out to the Wine-Price Building (Pain Management section). Dad kept saying he was a hard stick and I was thinking stop saying that it sounds off.. But basically it's hard to find the veins, so we had to go to the hospital to have someone who really knows what they're doing. At the Wine-Price building he gets an Epidural Transforaminal Lumbar (Injection). Basically a shot (needle, not a gun) in the back. In the IV, besides putting anesthetics, they also have to put a type of Benadryl/antihistamines because he is allergic to x-ray contrast (dye). This procedure is only a temporary fix, and he's had it a few times already. He has 3 herniated discs in the lower Lumbar that are pinching the nerves to the left leg. Dad recently got his blue handicap placard and has been walking with a cane for a while now. So far the Hospital is the only place I've seen where all the handicap spots are taken. If it's something like that I'll let him out at the entrance and I'll go park the car.

We tried to visit Jeff at Home Depot, but he was training in the back so I didn't see him. He's in NC this week. :( Mom met him, but Dad hasn't yet... keyword is yet. He's my loveable droll geek. <3

I also tried to see if my DS would work at Panera Bread but I couldn’t get it to connect to the WIFI with Mario Kart or Tetris.

Thursday night I went out with Dan to Queen City Brewing. They have this gimmick called Rhythm and Brews (we went to Brewgrass before).. Here's what it is basically. They ID you, give you a small cup and you can try 3 different beers or wine for free while they have a band playing music. I really love the look and feel of the Brewery. When that event ended we decided to go eat at the Clocktower since it recently reopened and I had never been there before. I won't be going back there for the food, that's for sure. Ordering the Gingerale was probably the worst decision I made. You know, I always thought that bit about Coke and Sprite was a joke, but I'm certain that's what they gave me. Yuck. I talked with Dan at his place until 2AM. He showed me pictures of his son Matt, and I got to see what Dan looked like when he was younger. It was surprising. I also want his bed sheets, they were constellations. He has a nice place and a lot of it reminded me of my Grandfather's place.

Now I just need to stop sitting on my hands and write Matt like I said I would...

I was born and raised in Northern Virginia, and lived there for 20 years of my life. In the fall of 2001 my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Once my father went through the surgery and radiation my parents opted to move to Staunton, Virginia. They wanted a quieter way of life, one that they could afford. As much as I love my home in Fairfax, I couldn't afford to stay so I followed suit and moved with them in July of 2002.

I took a fatalistic approach to the move, and was in and out of depression for about a year. What made me feel useful again was getting a job at the local Blockbuster where in a matter of months I've worked my way up from a CSR to a Full-Time Assistant Manager. But I'll never get any farther with Blockbuster. I've been using the money I earn to get myeslf a motorcycle. I've had it since September. I would gladly give it back to the bank for the chance to go to GMU.


My true home will always be NoVA. It's been over a year and still I slip up. Generally when I say the words "My friends..." in a sentence, it's about the NoVA/Tristate area crew. You guys are my crew, we are so rock solid and we care so much for each other and want to be a part of each others lives that it makes me cry. I am that happy.

There isn't any thing here in Staunton to hold me back. My friends want me to come up and .....

Georgia always told me that I should come back to Baldwin. And I've always shot that notion down without hesitation. I didn't even really need to think about it. I just know that I don't belong there. It's another world, one that I'm not from and never really wish to return to. Being here in Staunton is nice, and I can consider it a second home. Nothing more.

My true home will always be NoVA. It's been over a year and still I slip up. Generally when I say the words "My friends..." in a sentence, it's about the NoVA/Tristate area crew. You guys are my crew, we are so rock solid and we care so much for each other and want to be a part of each others lives that it makes me cry. I am that happy.

I was always so fatalistic about my move to Staunton. It's funny that I as I accepted the fact that I could never return to NoVA, that there is a way for me to return. It was staring me in the face all this time but I never saw it, because I wasn't fighting my own thoughts. I defeated myself. I should have never looked to MBC, I should have looked to GMU. Honestly the thought never crossed my mind till it was brought to my attention.

I don't belong here and Maram is right, there isn't really much to hold me back. The only reasons I have for staying would be Jessi and Will. And I know that they would want me to go. I will always come visit my parents, Jessi and Will.

I know that I just got my bike in September and still have a long way to go on paying it off, etc... But I would gladly give it back to the bank if that meant I could go to GMU. I'm sure we could work something out, because if I had to choose one or the other? There's just no comparison. You guys are family.

My dad's concerns are money, and not overloading myself with studies, so I don't burn out like I have in the past..

Georgia asked me once where my ambition went, and I never answered. I know where it's going now, God willing.

I should be able to get a job at Starland as an AM, Chris is always saying this every time I visit.

I am loved, and they all know where I belong, I should have just listened to you all.

I'm thinking I could use some of this for my essay, if not then I'm just clueless.

( Scores and the like )

You know... I can remember my sister taking this picture of me for her photography class. I also remember doing this pose on purpose, but I can't remember the reasoning..

I closed tonight. I hadn't planned on, but apparently I should of known. I had been in NoVA since Tuesday. Tuesday I got my new phone and saw Cathy, Mark and Daisy.

Tuesday I chilled with Daisy and we watched way too many cartoons before I finally decided to head out. I went to Starland to visit Chris. Reggie was working. He was like "I'm back, so you should come back too." And the sweet thing is that Chris agreed and said that I could be an Asst. Manager. I know that Adrise is one.. It feels really good knowing that if I ever made it back, that I automatically have a secure job waiting for me.

From there I met up with Eddie at TRU. Got introduced to Nick for the second time, then Eddie and I went to the new Best Buy at Tysons. It's got a nice layout. I mostly just wanted to see the setup of the store. The Borders next to it had the PSME manga vols. 1 and 2, but I've already ordered them online. TRU closed and we picked up Nick and headed to Sheldon's. I had no idea that Sheldon lived across from Peter Pan's, so to speak..

Sheldon, Eddie, Nick and I got drunk, while Marie was the smart one and stayed sober. But she had us pose for a drawing she needed to turn in, in the morning. Eddie missed out on being in it, but he took a picture of the process.. Boys do not know how to sit still.. Eventually we all went to sleep because Sheldon and Marie had to work in the morning. And btw Sheldon, Nick and I did not have sex.

I spent a good chunk of Thursday with Maram. It was reminiscent of our first days... Just driving around talking about any and every thing. Only it seems that Maram has grown very popular since then. Lot's of people have her number. When Dave got out of class the 3 of us had dinner at Sambo's. I had never been there. You think that I would order something different, something I haven't had, but I got bulgogi. I kept thinking Jackie's is better. (Not that Sambo's was bad, just that Jackie's will always be better. ^,^ ). The roads started getting really icy, so Maram took me back to Eddie's. She hung out for a bit and then left. We all decided that we would go the movies Friday.

Eddie and I went to pick up Nick at like midnight, in really bad ice, just so he could play SH3 with us. Eddie got to the point were he couldn't stay awake, so he went to bed. Nick and I decided to watch a movie.. I was going to put in Eddie's home movies, but Nick was against it. For Eddie's sake. So... we ended up watching Aladdin, but I conked out during it.

A few hours later Eddie wakes me up and says that the phone is for me. It's my dad telling me that I close, so I had to go home then... Not cool. I only thought that I had to open on Saturday, but it turns out I had to close tonight too (Friday). I didn't even get to hug Maram goodbye...

When I got to work I found out that the credit machines haven't been working all day.. They didn't work until I restarted them with computer support.. Not being able to use credit/debit cards, gift cards and having the rewards cards time out for every transaction is just crap. Everything was so slow and I swear most customers are not understanding at all. Kristin had a $1,600 till tonight and was $20 short. I refuse to think it was her fault, I am taking the blame/credit. We counted everything so many times. >,< And I have to be back there in a few hours to open.. yay.

Kristin's parents want her to go to MBC, she doesn't want to. She doesn't like MBC. And a bunch of students that rented tonight.. Strange how they seem to enter the store at different times, but majority seem to all leave the store at the same time..one after the other.. I didn't ring any up this time.. Well, I did get Grotjohn today, but anyways.. I guess some girls were rude.. and I comment that they were from MBC.. Kristin was like "Yeah see.. That's why I shouldn't go there.." I don't really think they were rude or anything but it made me laugh.

I have pictures on my phone of Kristin sitting inside the drop box. She sat in there and knocked on one of the doors from the inside... A little girl heard the knocking, went and opened it then ran back to her parents. "Daddy, there's a girl in there!!!!!!!" LOLOL

Oh and Kristin finished my scarf. I love it. ^_________________^

/ramble

Aly and Alexis got married this past Saturday and now she has her own Sitcom in the works with NBC. Go Aly!

Moving on to another beautiful former BtVS star... The commentary for Wrong Turn is excellent. Eliza and Desmond banter and she has lots of cute things to say about herself and the movie. This quote from Rob Schmidt, the director, makes me laugh for some odd reason: We had a lot of trouble with the movie trailers... Once we cut the necrophilia out of the script we really didn't have trouble with the ratings.. We put - it's a gory movie, it's supposed to be gory, you know...

Meridel posted that she saw Hikaru Midorikawa credited as Pretty Rikki in Kill Bill, but didn't see him in the movie. I didn't either.. The only thing I can think of is maybe as a seiyuu, and not as an actor.. I don't know about you guys, but just considering how the anime sequence was..I wasn't paying attention to the voices. I haven't had any luck finding info.

I had my fill of Daryl Hannah this weekend, viewing Kill Bill and Casa de los Babys. I really love the cast for both movies. I feel like talking about Casa tho. Rita Moreno rocks, always has always will. Still has a beautiful singing voice too. Maggie Gyllenhaal plays young woman from NoVA whose marriage is rocky.. All the women go out to eat and she asks about the time difference for Virginia, and that made me so happy. She gets asked where she's from and replies "Washington DC." Her husband is a prick and complains about how she's still waiting...You never hear what he says, but she is upset and says something to the effect of "No, you don't need to go to the Koreans." It was so great, yesh I'm a geek. But what a sad movie... It also had a similar feel to it like Dancing at the Blue Iguana did. Now Daryl is in that as well, but it's a totally different movie.. (About strippers). They both seem to be ad-libbed. It's awkward and uncomfortable and I really think the actresses came up with their own stuff, which was how Iguana was done. It feels real, and rough. I like that.

Come play with me. I'll be home alone for the next two weeks. There's too much room in this house for just me and the boys.

I think I've got October worked out. I'll be able to go to Rocky Horror, do the drag theme party and go to MAGFest 2.0. I already have a few ideas of what I'll do for drag. Should be fun or at least funny. I'll gladly take suggestions.

My dumbass almost got myself killed this morning. Yesterday I went to Northern Virginia because I missed my boiz. I had to see them. Abdulmonim and I had our usual coffee talk, then Abdulhadi showed up. We picked up Eddie and Badre before heading to AMC and seeing American Wedding.

Later Eddie and I went to Maram's to see her and David. Didn't stay long before heading back to Eddie's. I could of spent the night but my ass decided to roll out at 2AM without saying bye. I was dead tired and swerving all over the place but I did ok till 81. As soon as I hit 81 the fog was so bad I couldn't see anything at all. I was determined to keep on driving because I'm so stubborn. I already had the mind set that I was going back to Staunton even tho there was no damn reason for me to. I didn't but my stupid ass should of driven off the road and hit something. I so would of deserved it.

But for once I actually stopped. I got a hotel room in Woodstock.

I sent Maram this song today, I WANT YOU BACK by Folder. It's a japanese cover of the original by the Jackson 5. Only I didn't tell her that at first. Stupid AIM kept failing like 5 times before it actally went through. So of course she saw the file name....

M: "Are you trying to tell me something?"
S: "Um, what? No."
S: "It'll make perfect sense once you hear it as to why I sent it..."
-Eventually it gets through and she gets the song.-
M: "So the only reason you sent it was because it was in Japanese?"
S: "Um yeah, I thought it was funny..."

OK Did I miss something? Was there a memo? I figured it would of made sense since I sent her the Japanese covers I got from weyrlady a few days ago.

I mean I have to admit that I'm really happy that we're on good terms again after so long. We had this weird thing where we weren't talking because I'd just show up in NoVA and not tell anyone that I was coming... But we kinda just let that go and it's been a really good joking vibe and stuff since. But did we cross some line, and I'm just totally clueless like always? Do you know what's going on, edokun?

I went to Toys R Us to see who was working. Linda was working up front, so I got to chat with her. I told her about Blockbuster and then she asked about modeling. That really confused me, but she heard from someone that I had been modeling. I couldn't help but laugh at that. I don't know who could of told her that, was it you Eddie?

Eddie and Son were working in R-Zone. As soon as I walked up to them Son said "Hey, Lesbo!!" Eddie jokingly replied with something like , "You're not gonna take that from him are you? You're not some Lesbo." Son said "But she is!" All I said was "Well yeah, I am" and we all laughed. And all in front of this employee named Chris, who didn't know me, let alone that I worked at TRU last year. He just kinda looked at me funny. I went looking for Sheldon in Bikes but I couldn't find him. I went back to R-Zone and he was in the back room with Eddie. So my whole plot of sneaking up on him, hugging him from behind and apologizing was totally ruined. I told him my plan, and so he turned his back to me. -laughs- So it still happened, just not quite the way I wanted it to.. I saw that manager that's been giving Eddie a lot of shit, he was giving me really weird looks. Whatever.

Ended up spending the rest of the afternoon at Springfield Mall. The SunCoast's layout was changed to match all the other crappy SunCoasts.. No more sections. That majorly sucks. I talked about with the women up front, and we all agreed that it sucks. The sections were so cool, because that meant that I didn't have to weed through Drama and Comedy just to look for the G/L stuff. Must remember to e-mail Suncoast saying I want the DVD layout back the way it was.

I spent the rest of the 4th of July with Eddie and Maram. It was a lot of fun. We made Alfredo and Gnocchi with tomato sauce. It was the first time I ever had Gnocchi and it was yum. Earlier in the day Eddie bought a whole bunch of firecrackers. He had this whole nostolgia kick going on so it really didn't matter what I said about the fireworks.. Meh. So after we had our food and drinks (non-alcoholic beer) we went outside and set off some of the fireworks. But our big thing was that we were going to paint, so we set that up in the living room. I joked about having already done a body print, Maram didn't know I was serious when I told her about that before. So we obviously didn't do that, but I had fun using water colors and crayons. We all had our own sections of the canvas. It's up on the wall now as a big clue to Eddie's dad telling him the obvious. -laughs-

The whole night we were throwing out sexual innuendos - talking about Saranwrap, tomatos, avacados, bananas, Caramel Sutra and cunning linguists. There had to be a lot more, only I can't remember right now.

I stayed up all of Friday night packing, and watching movies. (Citizen Ruth and When Night Falls). Saturday morning, I left for Eddie's house. Eddie went to work at 2PM and I went to sleep on the futon. I woke around 9PM and Eddie didn't home from TRU till 'round midnight. We left NoVA just after 1AM and reached Staunton around 4AM. We stopped by my house so I could get a few things, check in with the 'rents and ice for the cooler. Eddie got to meet the boys too, they were more receptive to Eddie then they were to Pernell when they met. LOL. We left Staunton about 4:30AM. Eddie tried as best as he could to sleep, but it was on and off. There was a lot of fog, but few cars and trucks on the road so it wasn't bad. We ran into a bad patch of rain in TN, but that was the worst of it.

We stopped for lunch at 12:30PM (EST). There was a TRU nearby. Apparently TRU's in TN open at noon. SO I made Eddie call Sheldon at work just to tell him. I actually heard Sheldon's reaction when Eddie told him, he was not pleased. ^___^ After lunch, I finally let Eddie drive.. LOL. I got very little sleep while Eddie drove. I was wide-awake, I blame my meds. ^^ We switched off a couple more times till we finally got to his mom's house in Frisco at 12AM (EST). We stayed up for a while talking before eventually going to bed. I have the guest room, and Eddie has the leather couches (YOU remember them, right?) in the living room.

I woke up around 3PM and Eddie got chicken pizza from Jim's. YUM. I played a lot of Tricky on the GCN, working on the trick books and getting gold metals in racing. Man, looking at Texas. So far I just think Wisconsin, only SOUTH. Everything's flat and dry. Although there are those little bumps in the roads that Eddie loves to refer to as "The titties of the city." Eddie finally talked to Leia tonight, she called when we got back from Sonic, Eddie forced us to talk, so it was uncomfortable. I just have to say I love her voice, very cute. Tomorrow night we're going to see X2 with Joan (it'll be my 3rd time seeing it. LOL). Wednesday night Eddie and I will be seeing Matrix with Leia. We're finally going to meet. I'm really excited, Eddie is making such a big deal out of it, but I know it'll be cool. I just hope she doesn't think it'll be weird.

I went to see what my parents were having for dinner. Steak, no biggy right? I noticed something else on the table that made me totally freeze. Artichoke. My dad asked me if I wanted to try and I burst out laughing. My mom basically said "Yeah, it's now or never." That statement made it even harder for me to control my laughter. Of course dad asked me what was funny and I replied with "nothing." So I tried some and went to take my shower.

I couldn't explain to my parents what was so funny. I mean it's not even really funny to begin with. OK, that's a lie. But trying to explain my reaction to the artichoke to my parents would be like asking Maram why I haven't gotten my toaster oven yet. Now if only we had some mangoes....

Well, now I'm off to NoVA to see X2 with Eddie and Jackie.

Tuesday Pern and I went to checkout the Natural Bridge. I actually exercised. ~,^ There's a trail that you can take that leads up to the bridge, underneath it and past to some other neat stuff. The Lost River was pretty cool and I loved the waterfall at the end. This nice older man was drawing this wonderful watercolor of the scene. He was teasing me about how my pictures won't turn out and that a painting would be better.

Once we made it back to the car we headed down to Roanoke and checked out some of the shops in the malls. I was searching for Rip it Off, but no one had it so we 'chilled' with Joe. Joe ran MAGFest, it was his baby, but he's moving to California and getting his masters. Headed up to the Holiday Inn so that he and Pern could have a drink and they played a couple games of pool. This really drunk guy who had to have been in his mid thirties was hitting on me. I was looking around the bar and accidentally made eye contact with him. Bad move, so I tried to play it off by looking back at the game Pern and Joe were playing, but that didn't work. He walked over and stood at the table I was sitting at. I was trying really hard to ignore him but he eventually he sat down and introduced himself as Mike and asked if I was "with those two guys." I said that I was. Then as if on cue Pern tried to get me to play pool, and Mike decided that I should as well. But I was refusing so Mike decided that he could just grab me by the arm and drag me over to the table. I kept trying to look to Joe and Pern for help from this guy but nooooo. I don't know how to play really, so I asked Joe how I was supposed to hold the cue and such. Mike started moving in like he was going to personally show me so I gave him one of my looks. Eddie knows that look, don't you sweetie. It was one of those "Fuck off looks." That worked. He twitched, and then headed back to the bar. At some point he broke his glass and kept apologizing to the bartender. At this point we left and headed back to Joe's to watch Six Feet Under. The Paintball scenes were the best part of that show. We talked about MAGFest and other things till 3AM before Pern and I headed back to Staunton.

Yesterday Pern and I went to NoVA. We stopped at the Starland in Centreville and said 'Hi' to Andy before heading to the Annandale store and saying 'Hi' to Chris and that crew. Chris, ever so tactful as always, said that I looked more normal than I did at Katsucon. Chris caught me up on everything, and the store is looking really good. Pern commented as we leaving that the guys must really love me. It's true, they do. I'll always see Starland as family. Springfield Mall and Best Buy DID NOT have Rip it Off, of course. From there we went to Toys R Us to chill with Eddie. Patrick kept asking when I was going to be back, because R-Zone hasn't been the same since JB and I left. I just laughed. Eddie kept badgering me to buy PSO and apologize to Sheldon, or go hug him or to at least go shake his hand, or to do something, anything. I didn't even set foot in Bike World yesterday. I'm sure that both Sheldon and I would have been civil, but it just didn't feel like a good idea, ya know? I did NOT buy PSO BTW.

Traffic on the way to Jays was sketchy for a while, but eventually it smoothed out. Pern kept falling asleep. I have finally memorized getting to the Bachelor's pad without any help. It takes me for~ever to remember how to get somewhere. Just ask Eddie how many times I had to keep asking him which way to turn to get to his house. We got our Cor on then headed to Metro for foodstuffs. The three of us stayed up till 5AM. Fun times, lots of stories. And with that you are roughly caught up on the Adventures of Pern. ~,^

So yesterday (Sunday) I went Vienna Metro to pick up Pernell. From that point we drove all around NoVA. I showed him all the different schools I went to. Most of the stores were closed. The malls, TRU, etc. Tower Records was open, so was Starbucks. I took Pern to the Drive-Thru Starbucks. :) Oh and apparently Home Depot was open, Cathy had to work all day. I also showed him where I used to live, and where Eddie lives. Eventually we went back to my house, from 66 we took 11 back instead of 81. Scenic Route, uh yeah. We watched some Family Guy, the end of Scooby Doo and the Witch's Ghost (YAY Jennifer Hale, BJ Ward and Tim Curry.) OMG did you know that BJ Ward was a playboy bunny?!!!! You will never look at Velma or dear Princess Allura the same way ever again.... We also watched the end of the Scooby Doo movie with SMG... We played Eddie in CVS2 on XBL... OH, there's a sequel to Frequency called Amplitude. (not the movie, that was funny though Eddie). The only cool thing about Amplitude is that it has Cherry Lips (Go Baby Go) by Garbage as one of the songs. I got a blister on my thumb from playing Pern in Guilty Gear X2..Eventually ended up going to bed round 5:30 AM.

Today I had my first appointment with Dr. Widra. Aside from the Lexapro I'm on, I'm starting Wellbutrin SR to supplement it. I can't remember his exact wording, but I'm probably a little ADHD. Go fig, no one would of see that one coming... After my appointment Pern and I went drove to Charlottesville just for the hell of it. Before that we went down the Blue Ridge Parkway for a bit to see the view... From Charlottesville we took 29 to 33 to get to Harrisonburg. At the Valley Mall we ended up playing a couple games of Dance Freaks. The best thing about it was that it had Dr. Love. Otherwise this game is complete crap. First of all it's only good for the vertically-challenged. Sheldon would love this game. Think of Para Para Paradise but the sensors are raised up... BUT you have to move your hands above and below the sensors. Follow the link to get a picture of the machine. Pernell had a hard time with it cuz, you know, he's a tall black man. ~,^ It was hard for me too. It's Korean, so we just left arcade remembering that this game was made for short Asians... Not us.

We got some Easter candy cheap from Wal-Mart, checked out Blockbuster, but didn't end up renting anything then came home. I subjugated Pernell to bits and pieces of Bring it On before watching more Family Guy. Pern has been playing Pokemon Sapphire on his SP too...Sorry if none of this makes sense. I rarely do.

Last night we as a family went to eat at Outback Steakhouse in Alexandria, at Mark and Cathy's suggestion. *Pang* I just stared into space waiting for our table as Dad talked with Mark, and Mom with Cathy. Once we were seated it panged me again to hear Mark at the table trying to remember when the last time we were there was. I knew. I knew the moment the word Outback was uttered... Celebrating my father's birthday, and I was not the odd man out then as I felt like last night. Just shy of a year ago, the six of us happy. I think. It.Felt.So. And yet again it didn't help when Mark was struggling to try and remember Dena...

A good chunk of the dinner conversation revolved around my ticket.. Which I will address later. Back at Cathy's I forced Mom, Dad, and Cathy to watch my videos. They seemed to like them, although I think Mom was a little uneasy with Staring You in the Face. She was talking like she wasn't sure if she preferred the violence or not... I can't really blame her, it's not like it's her "cup of tea" or something.

Back at the hotel I watched The Wandering Soul Murders. Wendy Crewson is just wow. I can't wait till An Unexpected Love airs on Lifetime March 24th at 9:00pm. Although of course I have to wait... Took a bath, and barely slept before it was morning and we had to leave for the courthouse.......

The rundown, sort of: I was doing 86 on Rt 66 when the speed limit was 65... Caught on radar. I pleaded "No contest." After looking at my record the Judge sentenced me six months probation, which she then suspended because this was my first offense. She said that she will review my record in a year. She added that if she finds any sort of violation, moving, or what-not that she will restrict my license for six months. She asked me why I was going so fast... I was a deer caught in headlights. I barely stuttered out that I was going to visiting a friend and was excited. She just looked at me... And all I could do was look at her sheepishly and try not to stutter. She admonished me for driving at such a deadly speed and reminded me that I was 4 miles shy of being in jail. I could only nod that I was aware of this fact. I'm not sure how I was breathing or standing, or actually verbally responding. The fine was $100 plus $47 in court/processing fees. I still feel uneasy.

We stopped at Barnes & Nobles before heading home. I bought all three of Sarah Water's books. I am already on the 4th chapter of Tipping the Velvet and all I can think is why didn't I read this earlier!!!!?

NoVA bound, probably be back by tomorrow night. I hope. Pray for me.

Ides of March.. I can't believe it's been a year.. Feels just like yesterday that I was always hanging out at NVCC, being active with GLOBAL.. And how can I forget all the spider webs that love can create?